Peeta's side
by vampiregal456
Summary: Do you ever wonder what was going through Peeta's mind during Mockingay? What the Capital did during Peeta's hijacking? It goes from the end of Catching FIre through the Epilogue of Mockingjay. Rated teen just incase.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fan-fic so only constructive criticism. I hope you like it! **

Chapter 1:

"Stay with me." This memory surfaces again and again in this land of oblivion. I love hearing the sound of her voice so I'm happy that it never stops. In the memory, Katniss and I are in her room and I'm holding her just like every other night we spend together. Her mother gave her some medicine that makes her drowsy and as she slips off into sleep I hear her whisper those words to me. I respond "Always."

When I finally come out of dream land, I take in my surroundings. I'm in a room that looks like the one I was in after my first Games. This time instead of Haymitch coming to get me, Portia and my prep team are the first people I see. Portia's expression looks off but my prep team looks as ecstatic as ever. They have to get me ready for my interview and I hope Katniss is there with me. I've gone so long without it and I'm ready to see her.

We get into a limosine and arrive at President Snow's mansion instead of the square where the interviews normally are. When I walk in I can tell Katniss isn't here. President Snow walks up to me and stares at me with those snake-like eyes. I know he knows where Katniss is and I start screaming at him. He walks into the other room and away from me. This should be a fun interview.

**So if you haven't figured it out this is in Peeta's POV. Please leave a review of you want. It would be greatly appreciated if you did. Tell me if you think I should write more.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm back! Here's the next chapter and hopefully you like it. Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Suzanne Collins does.**

Chapter 2

I start the interview with Cesear Flickerman and I keep my eye on President Snow. When the talk of rebellion comes up I see President Snow give me a look. The look said "Do anything and you will suffer the consequences." I'm going through this mental conflict. Do I do it or don't I? I then decided on the cease-fire. After that I'm sent back to the training center, and locked in my room with just a deck of cards and a glass for water. Each day I receive three meals. I then have to go to "therapy". Basically I go into a room and they knock me out with a sedative. I feel different each and every day but I don't tell anyone.

After about a month or so of this, everything changes. When they wake me up from therapy, they ask me about her. "Katniss" I think. Immediately my vision is filled with red. I go nuts, I throw anything I can, I scream at everyone and everything. Then everything goes black.

I wake up and once again see Portia's face. _I wonder where Haymitch is._ Once again she has me prepped and I'm put into a limo. The president greets me at the door to his mansion and when he hears me speak with grace he looks pleased. The interview goes smoothly but when he mentions Katniss I keep my calm but there's still an edge to my voice. I tell her to find out if she doesn't know what's going on.

The interview ends and I go back to the training center. After the second interview there isn't any more "therapy". They basically leave me locked in a room with noting more than my thoughts.

_Where is Haymitch? Why am I the only one here? Am I the only _

_one here? Where are the other tributes? What happened to them? _

I keep thinking thoughts to which I have no answers. I just keep pondering upon these thoughts for weeks.

**Like it? Hate it? Let me know. Thanks for the support.**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Sorry for the wait. To make up for it I'm posting 2 chapters today. I hope you like them. Disclaimer: I don't own anything SC does.**_

_Chapter 3_

_I think and just keep thinking until my food comes once a day. I eat the small portion, not really paying attention to the flavor or mushiness of it. As the days go on I get skinnier and skinnier but I don't care it's not like I'll get out of here any time soon. They gave me a deck of cards so I make card houses while I think. A part of me is saying I need to get out of here somehow but another part is saying why no one is out there. If they were they would get me right?_

_There's a war going on in my head. Escape or stay prisoner. The choice seems easy to other people but to me it's more than a choice. It's a lifestyle. _

_As the guards come to get me for another interview, I hear them talking about how the rebels are destroying the TV radio waves with their propagandas. When they drag me out I act like I didn't hear anything. They all think I went off the deep end at the doctor's office about two months ago so I think I'm safe from them knowing. _

Once again I'm taken to the mansion and put in a room.

This time it's a different room this room has a map of Panem, different Districts are lit up in red, yellow, and District 12 has an "x" through it. _I wonder what that means._

President Snow walks in gives me a curt nod and motions for me to sit on a stool in the corner. The light on the camera turns on and President Snow starts talking about food shortages and other shortages. The only district he doesn't talk about is District 12. _Why isn't he saying anything about 12?_

After about an hour of him talking about shortages and their causes he finally turns to me. He asks me what I think about the rebellion and I keep talking about a cease-fire and how the different destruction is the effects of the rebellion.

Suddenly Katniss is on the screen standing in the rubble of some building. It looks familiar but I can't place it. Just as quick as it appeared it disappeared. I continue by talking about a water plant that got bombed but then Finnick is on screen talking about Rue, a girl from my first Games. It turns into a fight for control and the Capital is losing, big time. Then the seal of Panem is on the screen as the Capital regains control of the airways.

**I know I'm so bad with leaving you with cliffhangers but I'll try having the next chapter up this afternoon. I hope you liked it. A review would be greatly appreciated. ~ vamp gal**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry about the wait, my computer shut down and the story didn't load onto the site. Hopefully you like this chapter.**

Chapter 4

I'm mad and I can't clear my mind enough to continue, so when President Snow asks me about the technology fight, I lose it. I look right into the camera and say "And you Katniss in Thirteen, dead by morning." Immediately, I know that was the wrong thing to say.

President Snow starts telling the cameras to stop filming, but I just continue my speech. President Snow pushes the camera to the ground then starts to come towards me. When he is face to face with me I feel a blow to the back of my head and I cry out. The last thing I see is my blood on the white tiled floor, and then I black out.

I wake up back in my room with my head pounding. I don't have any idea what day it is but I don't care. All I can think about is what I did. _How could I have helped her, her of all people too? Maybe I care…. No! I can't!_

_How long does it take for a person to go mad? Either I'm mad or very delusional because I think I see soldiers bringing me a two course meal._ It turns out that the soldiers were bringing me a two course meal because President Snow ordered it.

I'm pretty sure that they drugged the main dish because I blacked out about 10 minutes after I finished. I woke up in a different room and it had bars instead of a door. This can't be good.

**Okay, I hope you liked it and I'm going to try and update 3 times tonight so you don't feel deprived of. ~vamp gal**


	5. Chapter 5

**My 2****nd**** update tonight, I hope you like it. ~ vamp gal**

Chapter 5

They've only given me food and water once since I've been here. I can hear screams. They sound feminine. Before and after every scream there's a shock, it sounds electrical but I can't tell. They go on and on, then when you think they've stopped they start again. Everyday feels like millennia, it never stops the ace of my head, the screams and the torment in my head about Katniss.

After a few days of sitting in this cell, I hear a gunshot, then two, then three. Slowly they come closer, until they're right next to me. As the shots were coming closer the cell doors were opening and closing, as if someone were looking for something. When the time came for my door to be opened, I was too weak to fight off the person opening the door. The man had jet black hair, piercing gray eyes, and was dressed in a peacekeepers uniform. The man looked vaguely familiar to me but I couldn't place where his face came from. The man held up a breathing tube of something to my face and started to carry me out of the cell. I would have struggled if the gas hadn't set in so fast. I was knocked out before we got above ground.

When I woke up I had needles stuck into my skin and machines around my bed. _Where am I? Who took me out of my prison? Why did they take me out?_ It seemed like I was being watched but I don't know how.

All within about 5 minutes, I have 20 doctors coming in to examine me. I feel like a biology project that they have to poke and prod at to get a better grade. They came at me with everything. After about 15 minutes of this, the door swings open to an excited looking Katniss. I push the doctors aside so I can fully see her. The good part of me is excited to see Katniss and wants to hug her, kiss her, and never let her go. The bad part wants to strangle her and watch her die slowly at my hands. The war starts again and this time I can't control the dark side. It wins and just as Katniss gets closer and starts to say my name, my hands wrap around her throat and squeeze until she faints. After she fainted I kept squeezing, a man then came up and knocked me out in one blow. Once again I'm sent into the oblivion of darkness that I have grown used to and I find the oblivion comforting in a strange way.

**I hope you liked the chapter and I hope you aren't mad at me. I'm going to write he next chapter tomorrow and post it tomorrow. Have a great night. ~vamp gal**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey Guys! Here's the next chapter. As always a review would be greatly appreciated. Enjoy! ~vamp gal**

Chapter 6

Sadly, at one point I have to come out of sedation. A few people were talking in the hallway about what could have happened to me. They must have planned on a longer wake-up time. The word "Hijacked" passed through the conversation a lot. Haymitch was one of them but not Katniss. That disappointed me. The monster in my head smiled and nodded at me when I thought that I caused her so much harm. I knew that since Haymitch was there all this information would go straight to her or maybe not.

The man that rescued me was there too. He was in a wheelchair holding gauze to his side but otherwise he looked fine. Someone in the conversation called him Gale. _Gale Hawthorne? _

Everyday I wait for the doctors to come in do their tests then leave to go to a different room to watch me. After their tests most of the time I just stare at the wall, I know to some people it would be boring but to me the mindlessness is comforting. Other times I have to stop the war, when I think it's about Katniss. Good or bad it's about her, her smile, her voice, her laugh that's as rare as a four leaf clover, ways to kill her, how to get close enough to kill her. That's why the mindlessness is so comforting; I don't have a war to fight and a side to pick. Sometimes I imagine that we get to do our reunion over and I would hug her, kiss her, and tell her I love her and would never let her go again. I needed some way to know what was going on with her and where she was.

I got that chance about a week later, Haymitch comes in and starts to talk to me and ask me questions. Haymitch of all people too. The first few days I don't even look at him or respond he stays the whole day and talks then leaves when visiting hours are over. A few days later, he says something that sparks my interest. Annie and Finnick are getting married and they want me to do their wedding cake. My eyes light up and when I look at Haymitch he smiles at me and asks me if I'll do it, I say yes ad and start to talk about how I'll get to use blues and greens because of the ocean in District 4. We talk about everything and anything except her, the one thing I really want to talk about.

After that day Haymitch's visits get shorter and shorter because I need to work on the cake. The wedding is in about a week, which is longer than I need but I only get an hour of baking time before I have to go to bed. I finished the cake the day before wedding.

On the day of the wedding, Haymitch comes in and we talk as always. This time as he is walking out the door I say "I want to see her, Katniss tonight.

Haymitch replies "I see what I can do. " Then he says something that I could barely hear. "Maybe you'll come back after all." Then the door shuts and I'm left with the war.

** There's the next chapter. Kirby would like you to review so he can keep dancing. (") ( " ) (") ( " ) So please click on the little button below. ~vamp gal**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! A review would be amazing if you can write one. I always love ideas for other stories and this one as well. Today's chapter is really short, sorry! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. SC does. ~vamp gal**

Chapter 7

Haymitch pulled some strings and got Katniss to come and see me. The only down was that my wrists had to be restrained. I'm so excited that I don't even care. _I get to see her!_ The door starts to open when the monster decides to appear. I control him enough so I'm just hostile towards her. She walks in and says "Hey."

_Hey!? You haven't seen me in forever and all you say is hey! "_Hey."

"Haymitch said you wanted to talk to me."

"Mostly just to look at you," I start to look her up and down but she looks at me, I can tell she's hesitant. "You're not very big or very pretty are you."

"You've looked better also." She retorted.

I chuckle, "And not even nice, to say that after all I've been through."

"We've both been through a lot. And you were the one known for being nice, not me."

I don't know why she's so defensive. She says she has to leave and as soon as she starts to walk out, I remember about the bread. The slap from my mother, watching her in the rain, seeing her run back to the Seam with the bread held tightly to her chest. I remember my black eye at school and watching her from a distance like I always do. We lock eyes then she looks away. Just as her hand grabs the handle, I blurt out "I remember, about the bread." I wait for her reaction and she looks shocked. I go on and tell her everything I remember.

"Did you like kissing me?"

"Sometimes," she admitted, "You know people are watching us."

"I know what about Gale? Do you like kissing him?"

"He's not a bad kisser either."

I just keep interrogating her until she practically runs out of the room screaming. I know I made her feel bad but sometimes I don't have any control over the monster. That's my only regret, making her feel worse about herself. When the doctors come in to untie me, I'm so lost in thought to pay attention. I wonder if Katniss will sleep tonight because I know I won't sleep a wink. I hope she isn't mad at me for long.

**Another chapter finished. I hope you liked it. Again if you have any ideas for stories or even just to say hi, either review or PM me. Thanks. ~vamp gal**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey Guys! Sorry for the wait my computer battery got fried and my computer broke down. But it's fixed and I'm back to writing. I hope you like it! ~vamp gal**

Katniss never came back to see me, no matter how many times I asked Haymitch. It got kind of boring doing nothing. Before the Games, when I was bored I would go down to the bakery and bake with my father. _I wonder where my dad is?_ Nobody had mentioned him, my brothers, or my mother. My mother was so mean to me, but I know that in some part of her heart she must have cared about me.

Haymitch still comes to visit me just not as often. That's how it started to get boring. I have this thought in my mind that President Snow has taken Katniss. In one small part of my mind I'm worried about her , but in another larger part of my mind I don't care and hope she has to suffer. The larger part is what refrains me from asking about her and my family. I hate that I don't have the guts to ask or to even argue with the monster. I don't have the guts because time and time again I've lost against myself.

I started to remember things that I forgot happened when I got back. Today I remembered something that happened a few weeks before Finnick and Annie's wedding_._

**_FLASHBACK….._**

_ When Haymitch came in the next day, instead of carrying out the usual chit-chat, he just sat there silently. After about a half an hour, I started to fall asleep and he started to speak. _

_"She got shot." That's all he said . I understood almost immeadiately. He didn't expect me to say anything because he knew that I knew who he was talking about. _

_" Is she okay?" I asked. He then started to laugh like a maniac. _

_ " That's the first time I have heard any type of concern come out of your mouth since you got back here." Haymitch says._

_ " Just because the monster in me is sedated." I chuckled along with him. We continued to talk about the past but two questions weighed heavily on my mind. _How bad are her injuries? Is she dead?_ I never got the guts to ask him until I asked to see her._

**FLASHBACK ENDS**

I hope that I get to see her and hopefully she will forgive me for what I've done to her. I do remember her being over protective of her ribs when she came to see me. I fell asleep dreaming about olive skin, grey eyes, and black hair.

As the days go on I start to remember more and more about the Capitol and my past. I remember Delly coming to visit me and I went crazy screaming about Katniss. I hope that I didn't scare her. Haymitch still visits me but the visits are becoming less frequent. They are letting me paint now and that is controlling most of my outbursts. My paintings sometimes scare the doctors because I think such morbid thoughts but it helps me remember my horrific past. I hope to remember everything one day and patch my relationships with the people I love.

My paintings gradually got happier as I started to remember the happier memories from my childhood: playing with Delly, going to school and seeing my friends, and my happiest one was of me seeing Katniss for the first time. That is my most cherished memory of all time.

_I miss her._ That is the only way to describe how I feel now. Every time I go to sleep all I dream about is her; her hair, her eyes,, the way she looks when she holds her bow. All I can say is 2 sentences, six words. " I love you. I miss you." I whispered those 2 sentences to myself until I fell asleep that night.

** Once again sorry for the wait and I'm on summer break until August. So I should be updating more often and longer chapters. I tried to show the part of Peeta that misses and loves Katniss as well as Peeta remembering things that happened when he first got back. I hope you liked it. ~ vamp gal**


	9. Author note

Hey! It's me. I've decided to not post on anymore. This story will now be on wattpad because I am on there more than anything. I'm sorry for everyone who has read this story and who has been waiting for an update. It will be much easier on wattpad than on here. If you are on wattpad, my user name is vampireprincess_13. I have 2 stories up right now and I will add this one on as well. Once again I'm sorry and I hope you understand. I will still read stories on here I just won't post stories. Thanks for understanding.


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